butterfly-kisses

2006-01-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

i've moved..
http://peregrination-in-love.blogspot.com

2006-01-08T01:56:00.000+08:00

im going to change my blogskin soon..muahaha..so lookout soon.
btw.. anyone outta knows DREAMWEAVER??!!
PLZ teach me!!
contact mi asap..
emergency..!!!

2006-01-06T15:26:00.000+08:00

im going crazy..wahahaha..
someone save me from this dark pit..

2005-12-12T14:37:00.000+08:00

haix. the all styles martial arts just ended.
my left cheek hurts and my lips were cut.
i got a sliver medal but im not NOT happy at all.
i feel its a huge humilation to actually lose and still get a medal.
i fought wid someone 2 weight categories above me and lost.she got the gold medal and she is super conceited.wtf..i mean why would smeone actually feels proud of herself after losing to someone so much lighter than her.i think she can go and die.i see no pride in it.
haix..rather fight someone in my own weight category and win to get sliver.
at least i know that i won by substance, but not lose and get still able to get a medal.
such humilation cannot be accepted.there is no sense of pride or statisfaction in getting a medal.
haix.i wonder why my fren can be so happy after she lost but still recieved a medal.
i will train. train.and train.and win the medal by my own ability.i will not let down my laugong.my thai hometown and myself.hm..a bit political.but nvm..
at least i will feel proud and happier winning a medal in this manner.

2005-12-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

today i shed tears..
fought wid darling.
but after tad had talk wid him.
hope everything will be alrite.
my kick boxing competition coming soon.
im gonna kick some ass.
and i mean it.

2005-12-05T22:41:00.000+08:00

stress stress stress..
brain wan2 explode

2005-09-28T01:30:00.000+08:00

haix...feel so sad.
i cried the 3rd time le..
i tot i would nvr cry again..
but still..its inevitable..i cried..
haix..
i very sad now...e band which i always wore on my left leg broke.
it meant sooo much to me..i don noe wad to say..
heart very pain...feel like tearing it out..throwing it away.so i wont feel it again.

2005-09-06T00:53:00.000+08:00

haix...darling got high fever for 38.4..managed to bring it down to 37.2 now..so worried about him.haix.now he sleepin like a baby le.i hope he will get well by tmr morning..tonight like the longest night ever..haix..don noe y time like passes so slowly..i getting headache too..maybe too hot ba..haix..so xin ku..but i see darling more xin ku..i must ren..haix...so worried bout him..haix....i don noe la..i very tired.i don noe y i no more the old active me le..i now so inactive la.i smile less..den sometimes i wonder whether im only laghin for the sake of laughing instead of laughin from my heart.haix..wad is happenin??..haix.. don wan2 think le.bye..

2005-08-22T02:30:00.000+08:00

ANGRY...humpf..stupid com.i hate euu...humpf.i type so long den u hang.now need to rewrite.
DONT BLOG LE LA..ARGH....

2005-08-16T11:14:00.000+08:00

haix..so tired.so many things happening at the same time lately.so busy..got tests this week.got projects deadline this week.got X country competition this week too.so many so many to do but so little so little time..haix.im so tired.tmr is the x country competition le..i hope i can do well..i don wan disappoint sham.haix.feel so horrible now..got headache den feel like vomittin my breakfast out la..haix..so xin ku.haix..don wan blog le.bye bye.

blast my fav music in my ears..hoping everything would be alright.but it doesnt seems so..nothing seems to be goin right..haix..i miss e old times when nothing seems to bother me.i was on the top of the world.even though i smoke all that..i felt happy and less stressful.haix..miss eu..tad night.

2005-08-12T10:43:00.000+08:00

so much project to do..so much tests to study..so much training to do..but so little time..haix...

wanna be in your arms forever..haix..love my darling lau gong..our relationship so smooth..not much ups and downs to bond us together yet..feel so loved..im scared of losing this feeling..

2005-08-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

haix..got cut on my tummy today..so pain..stupid me bang into the door.haix..i feel so sad and depressed..i wonder why..haix..back off..i nid some air to breathe.

2005-08-10T17:06:00.000+08:00

hehe..so long no blog le..cos either too busy or too tired..or worse..no internet connection..hehes..
now actually im supposed to be busy..yupps..busy studying.but i decided to slack a while and write..so much happened recently..haix..must write down before i forget.everything..i realised tad things for me and my darling are goin smoothly...so smoothly..tad i beginnin to wonder if everything is a dream..we are close but i don feel realli realli bonded together..those type of feeling tad i will die for him one..haix..dunno how to explain la..maybe we will only get this type of feelings after we go through more obsticles and problems...i dun knoe..but i used to get those type of feeling when i was wid him.....until he hurt me too much...for me to be able to face him again.....don worry laugong..we still gort a lot a lot of time to pei yang our gan qing one..i believe one day i will love you until i willingly to die for u..hehe..

today so crap la..woke up late..den miss my test..dis friday need to go and retest..den go get MC..wait damn freaking long..sian 1/2...den took cab down..attend POa lesson awhile only end liao..sian 1/2 again..found out my hp the diamond heart dropped..sian 1/2 even more...den need to skip training to study...si bei sian...haix....

9 august 05
well..today is national day..singpore's national day..HAppy BirthDay!..hehess..malaysia one also comin lo..on 30th August..hehes..so happy..went to watch fireworks at esplanade wid my lau gong..but before tad we went to buy sweets..at my usual spot..M.walk..hehe..sweets wonderland..yumm...hehes..no more wasabi potatoe chips..sobx..nvm..den at the marina walk there..saw my ex..lester..haha..surprisingly..he smiled at mi..hehe..see him smile until so sweet..don feel like whackin him le..missed tad cashmire smile of his..haha.but tad was the past..now..im happy wid my darling lau gong..my one and only..he so sweet la..he bought me a bouquet of pink roses..den he so poor thing..wait for me outside my house until so long..he sweating lyk mad when i met him la..sayang..i cooked black pepper pasta for him to eat..duno whether he like a not..hehe..aniways, the fireworks was nice..so much la..see until song..den very funni lei..when got fireworks tad time..a few ah bengs behind us keep scoldin bad words...lolx..so kao bei..when suntec eat den went back esplanade take photos..den went home..on the way home..met my another ex..shane..haix..he so dao again..nvm..i understand..haix..den reached home quite late...........blah blahblah......

8 august 05
laugong went clubbin without me..sadded..but nvm.for the sake of studying and competition..worth it..

7 august 05
went NtU to trAin...den run until got skin abrasion..painful...den meet laugong..go gym..after tad when jp to watch wedding crasher..so funny..all the pple lyk weird weird one..hehe..den ate dinner at west coast there..den after tad went west coast park wid laugong..we go there romantic...hehes..saw his frens der..haha..den we climb pyramid..all the way to the top..den wen down to the center to lie down..den dis silly laugong..do stunt..suddenly pop one rose out..i was lyk so touched la..hehes..muacks..my darling so sweet..first time somemore sia..muacks..love my darling so much..den we went down to the park walk walk again..den sat down and relax relax..den went home..sorry darling..i will not smoke le..but accepting it is a natural reaction for someone who used to smoke..its an urge..but i will control...don worry.i will do it for u..

2005-08-03T10:44:00.000+08:00

haha..finally my fever went down..got high fever of 38.4 degree on monday after track training...sianz..head and throat so pain tad day la..den now we 2 months 2 days le...haix..so qiao.. double 2 again..haix..nvm..nvm..sian..i lagging behind a lot in my hmk..haix.i must jia you le wors..wei le wo men de jiang lai..i must study hard hard now..den next time get good good job with high high pay den we can enjoy life..hehez..man a not? lolx..darling..you must also jia you wors..hehes..btw..i must also jia you in my track..need to build up my stamina more..now still very lousy cos i keep getting sick..den nvr train much den stamina went down..sian..den must start training all over again..haix..the most disheartening thing is tad..i see others getting better and better while im lagging behind..i must put in xtra effort..i can do it one..IVP is next yr...i still got time to train..haix..okok..i think i better get started instead of ranting here..byes..

darling.love ya so much..muacks..

2005-07-20T11:05:00.000+08:00

lalala..hahas.juz finished my last paper for this semester.very scared sia.cos i nvr realli study..hope i can at least pass can liao.hehes..at least i now can relax relax a bit..chilll.......so long no blog le..can see all e spider webs and dust collected..lolx..jkjk..been sick lately..stupid nose again.damn irritating..plus asthma.i think i goin to die liao..die of suffocation..*sniff..sniff*..life so crappy nowadays..like nth's goin rite for me..haix..nvm..life is short..take it easy man..now i alone at blk 31 der..stupid darling..dun wan come find mi..wan mi to go find him at atrium instead..stupid ass..dunno how to make mi happy one ar?!! come find me also so difficult..suan le la..next time dun go bukit panjang find him le..humpf..btw..finally gt time to go mit up wid my nana eunice go out on monday..hehes..miss her so much..miss nana sabri..miss nana ah jo a lot too...hahas..*longs to see them~~*

when to k box wid my da jie minz on sunday...haha..so fun..we anihoe anihoe sing..den i ding until damn awful..cos i cant sing..lolx..den got 2 guys come ask for my no...diao...nvm..den we went millenium walk go buy CHOCOlates and sweets...yum yum..hehes..den went esplanande to eat...got rock concert at e bay..so cool..so many punks around...hahaa..Punks Not Dead..bleahz!
we took pictures den went home..had a fun day wid her..=P

2005-06-22T00:11:00.000+08:00

today the mood very bad..havin headache the whole day..cos i got flu..den my nose keep runnin..feels lyk crapz..den somemore kick boxin today so painful..i sparred wid cheryl..she keep whacking my tummy and head...after tad giiddy giddy liao..nvm..i stupid stupid..go and spar wid sara my senior..she so pro la..so..i kana whacked up lyk siao..after the match..my tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably..pain..is all i feel..cos my whole head kana punched..including my nose and rib cage..was kinda out of breath after tad punch in da rib..pain pain pain..but i feel kinda gd..cos i feel awake..lyk i was just punched out of my lalaland..reality was wad i felt.haix..aniway..felt numb soon after tad..so was kinda a transition between reality and neverland..but i feel gd too..cos e numbness took aaway my pain..haix.haix..haix..but why do i still feel so sad and lonely..?? darling where are euu???

2005-06-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

i feel saddness all around..i just wan2 go home and play wid my astro boy..haix..why is my past buggin mi?? i just wan2 move on..but it seems hard..how could this happen to me? plz take me away..i don wan to live lyk dis..anymore.i wan2 to share wid my darling..but i cant..i don wan2 hurt him.haix..i such a bad gf...tads y i prefer to be alone...i don wan2 hurt anyone...haix...im so sorry if i ever hurt anyone of euu out der..im sorry..haix..but sorry cant solve the problem..i cant keep on saying sorry..i shall shut up...plz leave mi alone..

2005-06-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

i very angry..the more i run..the fatter i get..this is so ridiculous la..but its true..haix..why liddat??!!!!STUPIDDD....haix..i now very stressed..becos of sch wrk..cca..my health..and....................him...........
...................haix.........
......peace..someone plz help mi..i wan some peace..haix..bye bye..i go play wid my astro boy liao.

2005-05-31T02:22:00.000+08:00

life is flashing past me fast..
so many things..so little time.
sch.work.cca.relationships.
part and puzzle of life.
piecing them together is a big feat.
haix.
also not forgettin to pick up e broken pieces left behind by bad memories.
i feel so tired..
peace out.

2005-05-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

nw in sch..lolx
so bored..
bleahzz.

2005-05-16T01:11:00.000+08:00

sports camp.
one word.
fun.
lolx..
very hoing ar..the camp..one day sports camp lyk 3 days foc camp..damn tiring..but very fun..cos gt lots n lots of activites..and a lot of crazy stuffs..hahaa..a lot of water games too..play until song song..although my finger the skin kana ripped off by lifesavin rope..lolx.so disgustin..can see da raw flesh..white colour one..but fun..lolx..i kana sunburnt..nw look lyk some illegal immigrant bangladesh worker..lololx..damn tanned..haix..so fast camp days over liao..was lyk enjoyin it so much..although livin conditions very bad..lolx..cos only get to bathe once a day in da nite after one long hot humid sweaty sticky day..somemore when slp tad time must becareful..l8r they take marker draw u..or put sauce or cream or even tooth paste on uu..so gross..hahas.i almost kana..but nvr..i heng sia..i quickly wake up stare at them.. den play truth or dare..do a lot of stupid stupid things again..lazy to elaborate..but the worst is..i nvr play truth or dare oso kana sobotage by the GLs to do pumpin on max..eeeeyyyeeeee.....so turn off..max steam somemore la..yucks!..lolx..den loges and peacock keep pinchin my cheeks n messin my hair..so naughty..lolx..i think they mess somemore i will becum botak la..camp so fun..hahas..lazy to write le..next time den continue..bye bye..

2005-05-08T02:18:00.000+08:00

just ended camp yesterday...woah..FOC camp rawkss like hell!!!!!!...Spartan WArRiorS RAWKSS.....SPARTAN 1 RAWKS.....we r so so cool....best camp i ever had..lolx..first day of camp was lyk crap la..loads of long waitin..wait until dulan..lolx..but second day not bad..got games...Butter hill was freakin fun..so funni..and buttery..my socks were all butter..we did a lot of cheerin la..shout shout shout until throat pain..cheer until we all sian diao..den we kana forced to do the my bonnie thingy..so lame..so itimidate la..sittin on one another's lap..lolx.in a circle somemore..lyk some mass orge..the worst is when i playin dog and bone..i kana whacked in my neh neh by some indian guy..so horrible....ever since den i scared liao..den keep coverin them..must protect ok..precious le..den third day we got pool side games..wah lau..they ask mi be some model..den they dress mi up as some spartan warrior...den make for mi the sword lyk whip liddat..so lembei..soft soft one..then no one told mi i need to fashion show in front of everyone..damn pai seh la..i duno where to hide my face sia..luckily got mask cover a bit of my face...but still damn pai seh..den they ask mi lead cheer..i shout until my voice no more..third nite no lights out..so funi..got dance in the hall..they try to make it lyk club but cannot make it..basically..camp food sucks..but which camps doesnt rite..btw..got one guy look lyk jay chou...he soo cute...his face chubby chubby soft soft one..so nice to poke..BUT....tooooo bad.....charlotte grab liao...wah kao...she damn fast la..duno how she do it one..know him less than one day can hug here hug there...touch her touch there..i really got Nth to say...haix..nvm..wah..truth or dare on third nite..we and teo xu damn fated la..i hot dance him for my dare..den after tad suay suay he oso kana need to hot dance me for his dare...damn funni...somemore is diff game of truth or dare..i love ching teng...so nice to eat..lolx..btw..our camp got 2 bimbo come..one is tai tai girl..e luggague girl so pampered la..the most funni is the part where she said she broke her leg..she still can jump up n down say her leg broken..wad a joke..hahahs..the second bimbo is butter girll..so bitchy...duno wad "go sissy argo...u can suck my cock..."..den dance lyk duno wad...see le oso turn off......mans..so tired..i wanna slp liao...byes...camp rawks...spartian warriors forever...~gives a spartic look~..lolx..i think im retarded..

2005-05-02T00:03:00.000+08:00

haha..yesterday very funni..went mos..den went somewhere else..lolx..tell u a big joke..ahahasss.....my lips now lyk some sasauge la..cos swollen..lol...but i feel very happy about it..cos..hahas..i love it...i don mind gettin more of it..lolololx...i kiss until my lips swollen..muahahahaasss...muack muackss..come come...who wan sasauge lips come..i will Kiss u until u swollen......i think i siao liao....relax relax..haix..tuesday i goin camp le..so sad..i comin back on fri...he comin back on sat frm camp too..goin to miss him..a lot a lot........haix..i know now he very busy.. i understand he got no time for commitment...but i will wait...wait until ur heart is wid me..i don care if u r a playboy a not...i just simply love you...i really hope to be wid u one day...haix..i love u...i wanna hold u tight and nvr let go...

2005-04-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

haix..nowadays so tired..like not much slp..den everyday like some zombie liddat..i feel so old la..lyk no energy wor..den tad day benson trick mi go chalet..i stayed overnight..stupid cherywn make mi play stupid game wid him..den duno why i everytime lose..den he make mi do stupid things la..esp the one i wid ming jie playin too..btw..i think everyone at the chalet is retarded..cos they make so much noise..i wan2 slp they oso wan2 disturbx..luckily no gang bang..lolx..den Some..juz played mahjong the whole night..siao..den in the end slp awhile only los..btw..benson..thank u for takin care of mi the whole night..lolx..brudder lei..smoke oso share..food oso share..drinks oso share..even bicycle oso share..hahas..xin ku ni le..i so fat..bryan..don worry i will take gd care of ur jacket one...even though its already so smelly....hahas..den next day go work..wan2 die liao..i stand there look at customers den i doze off..head chef come ask mi don slp..i kana shocked and very scared la..cos he fierce wad..den i bluff him say my eyes pain..tads y close awhile..he stupid stupid believe me la...lolx......hm..........a bit disappointed wid one of my fren...cos supposed to meet him after my work..den he suddenly cannot make it..i take my time out specially to meet him somemore i so tired also wors...den he cannot..a bit pek chek..haix..nvm nvm..tmr..my last chance le..better at least close one case..haix..mood lyk a bit down..cos lyk tired plus stress..den now i so fat...haix..i miss a lot of pple lei..a lot of my fren i very long no contact..lyk lester..shumin..jasmine..hui qing..ah jo..tryphena..etc..haix..if anyone of u see this..pls pls..contact mi k? missed ya lots.....

giving someone all your love is not an assurance that he will love you back. don't expect love in return, wait for it to grow in his heart, if it doesn't, be contented it grows in yours........
A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believes..........if you love her please let her know because it hurts to love when you have to go....Relationships are like glass, sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together, or worse, have nothing strong to bind it together. you never lose in loving. you only lose in holding back.........
i have learned.don't throw your back to love when it's already in front of you, don't drive it away from you because if you did, someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was Once Right next to YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!........haix.......why i soooo stupid......i thinking of tad day again....when i let you go......didnt know i loved u soo much..

2005-04-26T01:23:00.000+08:00

hm..today went back sch get year book..saw himm..see le xin ruan ruan..haix..he nvr even say hi to me..=X nvm..stupid eunice always say wan2 call wan2 call..in the end nvr call..liddat call fren ar?! how many times liao...wah lau..haix..forget it..duno wad to say bout her liao le..so stressed nowadays..got a lot of problems..duno how to solve..but..i will solve them..i will survive..lolx..i think im mad..insanity..ok..i gotta close 2 cases in 5 days..gotta work harder these few days..yupp yupps...

2005-04-23T03:13:00.000+08:00

haix..decided to change my blog song..tong hua..i listen le..ye ting ye shang xin...so i changed to this song..i duno understand wad it means..but lyk quite nice..its called si xin bu gai by twins i think..i duno la..i don really listen to chinese songs one..got a lot of songs i don even know existed la..lyk yesterday go ktv wid jolyn cherywn they all den realised i so lagg..terrible la..i lost my voice..got sore throat..wan2 sing also sing bu chu..haix..made a fool outta myself only..got my laptop today..i go meddle wid it..den i oso duno wad i do to it..stuck at the password page..den i off..lolx..terrible..first day only wan2 go spoil my com..i now lyk ah lian meh?? i not ah lian los..so don call mi xiao lian liao la..i only a bit chor luo..a bit vulgur..a bit..........aiya....i not Xiao Lian!!!...duno wad to say now oso..i got a lot a lot i wan2 say but duno how to say..i now got a lot of problems la..so much tad i duno wad to do..feel lyk becumin a vegetable..haix...my heart lyk broken into a lot alot of tinnie winnie micro pieces..feels as though if u are nt careful and go touch it again..it will immediately disintergrete into dust..and disappear into thin air..hurt too much..den somemore..i very tired..wan2 slp but duno why lie down only all the problems come into my head..den cannot slp liao...den sometimes no appetite eat..den got appetite only eat lyk some pig..if i feel lyk excercising only..will very fierce.....sometimes for no reason..or for lame reasons will feel lyk cryin..no...its not pms...i oso duno why liddat..probably insecurity ba..i think ive being hurt too many times until ive becum lyk so retarded liddat..the worst is even though i got short term memoryy...i duno why all those i don wan remember one i remember..all those things i wan2 to remember one..zhe me xiang ye xiang bu qing chu..why liddat??!!!....terrible lei.....haix...haix...haix.......forget it las..god has plans for mi.....i think i crazy liao..i duno why i lyk him la..sinclair tad day ask mi why i lyk him..i lyk tio stunned la..cos i duno why oso..haix...i think ying wei zhe jiu shi shou wei de jian dan ai ba..no need any reasons for it wan....haix..ai ta na mei sheng ye mei yong..he oso don lyk mi..but i will wait for him..wait for him to love mi back...wah lau..i duno why i soo stubborn la..know the chances of him lovin mi back only got 1%...but i still wan2 try..but if u don try..u will nvr knoe wad e results might be..maybe one day there might be a miracle..hahax..i hope so ba..wo hui yi zi ai zhe ni..haix...i wan to go back to the past lei..go back to tad day...and say i love u i love u i love uu.......face to face wid u on tad very day tad very night..but i know now its impossible to go back le..i missed my chance...why didnt i grab it??! i so stupid...haix..don worry...from now on i will treasure moment i can spent wid u..every msg u sent to mi..every word u say to me..i will treasure ur everything everything...as long as u not attached yet..i will not gib up..i love you so much...
btw...me and lester got nth on..we NOT together ok..he don lyk mi K..n i don lyk him..i don even tok to him now..n he don even tok to mi now..i no see him..he no see mi...so don anihow anihow say hors..
feel much better now..after bloggin..kk...i goin to slp le..tmr still got work..nites..or rather gd morning..

2005-04-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

wah/...i feel lyk fuck manx..i happened to be clearin my hotmail acct..den i read everything tad i cleared la..den..wah kao..saw all the msgs me and my ex used to send each other..read liao..don feel lyk fuck also feel lyk fuck..if already feelin lyk fuck..will becum even Fuckier la..i faster faster delete all the msgs mans..wah kao..cant believe we last time fight so much still can together for so long..i duno how i tahan him one la..somemore is lyk all the fights were so pathetic la..all becos of jealousy and lack of trust la..bloody hell..read liao also dulan..somemore..i cant believe we last time so petty one la..terrible sia..fuck la..he keep sayin i lie to him la..ask him whether he love mi..everytime change subject..kao..read le also....ArghhHHHHH........fuck it fuck it...break wid mi so many times somemore..break my heart lyk its mendable..i duno why last time i can stand him la..i don even feel loved la..okok...stop readin..stop....STOP..
my bloody com damn irritatin sia..keep givin me so much problems..throw away la..
haix........i lyk some volcano erupt liddat...mood damn fuckin bad la..work oso work until lyk fuck...everything is lyk so screwed up...............the guy i like don like me..but lyk somemone else..always liddat one la..u lyk one..also cannot get...don lyk one..always easy to get..the world is nevER FAIR.....yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just wan euuuu.....why cant i jusst hab u??i will promise to love u wid all my heart..damn it...y do i always fall in love wid da bad guys...wei she me...why why why??? i make my own life miserable only..but i knoe tad..but still go fall in love wid bad guys..haix..i think im a hopeless nutcase la..but nvm....no matter if u are by my side a not..i still love u..i will contiune to love you till someone else can manage to steal my heart away lyk u do..which i think need a miracle for tad to happen..haix....feel lyk clubbin now..at least i can dance and forget my troubles for a moment...burn mother fucker...burn.....

2005-04-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

argh...feel damn down nowadays..feel lyk shit la..went sparks 2 days ago wid crystal and ver..den got fight..we go watch for fun..den went back sparks again.techno tad night..i dance lyk crap la..too tired le cos i went after work..crystal not bad ar..can dance..haha..got police come tad nite..i guess its pretty much normal..cos everytime i go also got police come wan..after tad..i very lucky..my dear dear ron..who is soo so nice..come down to town just to fetch me home in a nice nice comfortable car..my legs were killin me after dancin da whole night in heels..terrible..lolx..wad a sweet guy..thanks!
yesterday was so horrible..i went to meet sinclair after my work..den i think i smoked too much kana asthma attack..my whole was lyk goin numb la..my asthma puff lyk no use wan..use le still so pain all over..luckily never go into coma due to lack of oxygen.took a panadol from sinclair's fren and felt a bit better..den he sent mi home..im so sorry sinclair..always gib you so much problems one..sorry..i feel so bad mans..next time i wid u..i will try to take extra care..so wont gib u so much trouble..im soo terrible mans..i don feel lyk writin le...cos i feel damn crappy..someone pls hold me..cos im losin myself..stupid da huai dan..miss u lei..y u liddat one??!!..haix...fan si ren le...

2005-04-14T00:56:00.000+08:00

hm..im sooo soooo dead..im lyk freakin overweight?!! oh no..terrible..i seriously put on weight a lot..but everytime i tell someone tad..no one believes me..they say "leepeng fat?..impossible.."..but its da truth..im fat now..and its a F-A-C-T..im really overweight..believe mi mans..haiz..i wan2 go cut my weights le..so i decided to go swim tmr..maybe go gym..or jog..anything just to lose weight..i look so horrible now..and anyway..i cut my hair..yes..i did..really la..nvr bluff u..and i look lyk so horrible..yes yes..u all will say.."horrible?..don hab wad...how terrible can it get??!"..but seriously...its horrible.tads e truth.i look lyk some china doll.u get wad i mean? china doll.
terrible..nowadays no mood. im single. alone. bored.
i need some excitement mans..
tell me about it baby..im free after 10pm..

2005-04-12T00:38:00.000+08:00

haix..so bored..after work..go straight home again..i wan2 go out..liddat..everyday go work..come home..i will go mad one la..its lyk no life at all..no wonder so many of the pple at my work place are mentally unstable..and im Serious..got one guy came out of woodbridge..terrible lei..i work there oso scared la..all the crazy pple..i scared l8r i go mad wid them oso..haha..i think i already am mad..i keep goin cookie here cookie there..icecream here..icecream there..and i keep sayin terrible..horrible and vegetable..so terrible..haha..today met elin durin my break..so long never see her cos she went aust to study..haha..she came my restuarant eat wid her parents den after tad went out wid her..we bought a lot of sweets to eat..den took neoprints..so horrible..got one picture i got da sparstic look..lolx..so terrible..and vegetable..everytime i look at it.i will laugh la..lolx..btw..i gettin fatter and fatter by the day..terrible..and i cant stop eatin..HOw?!! i got tummy liao la..den my face round round..not pretty le..lolx..i not even pretty in da first place..ok..haix..still i wan my small small face back..not a big big round round one..haix..stupid resturant la..why must they serve us such goOd food?!?!! make mi eat so much..somemore there the pple pamper mi..treat mi eat ice cream..coOkies..lolx..see la..now so fat..horrible..
btw..today i saw someone who look so much lyk lester at lakeside da bus stop..my heart almost stopped beatin la..i was lyk thinkin wad da hell is he doin here..lolx..i tot he soo nice..finally wan2 come and visit mi..hahas..my wishful thinking..lolx..i almost wan2 go and di siao him la..luckily i look carefully at his face first..if not i sure die one..cos he not lester...ahahahas..he more suai than lester mans..damn it..he looked into my eyes la..almost got electrified..den he keep starin at mi la..i fasster walk away..hopin tad he doesnt notice tad i wanted to go and di siao him..i was so near..heng ar..yesterday went pubbin at holland v till late late..den my dad came to catch mi go home..cos i late late still no go home again..so funni..i even can joke joke..ask him join mi and frens drink together..i lyk wan2 qi si ta..lolz..im such a terrible girl..terrible..

2005-04-08T01:13:00.000+08:00

today went play pool wid qihao..terrible lei..i lost a lot la..he bluff mi say he suck at it..actually he pro la..terrible..lolx..we went to eat after playin pool at cine basement..chatted quite a lot..can say got to know him better la..since the last time i met him..he lyk become thinner while i become fatter..horrible..lolx..i must eat more vegetables..ahahaahs..okok..enuff of the terrible..horrible n vegetable jokes..had enuff of it at work..joke sia..btw..qihao..good luck for ur test..don anyhow anyhow do cpr hors..((: and study the structure and functions of the heartxx more..^winks~

2005-04-07T00:12:00.000+08:00

i hate you..i hate you..how can u do this to mi?!! bloody bitch..don u even have a bit of intelligence and ren qing wei left in you?..wah lau..we USED to be good frens la..now?! don gib me wad-so-ever crap tad u are to0 scared to tell me..or u don wan2 hurt my feelings..u hurt my feelings more by not tellin mi laR..bitch..i forgive u cos u usED to be my good fren..if not i see how u die la..by the way..i not as mean and petty as you..i wont bite u lyk u do..don think i always give in to you because im weak..its becos u r younger than me..i let you have ur way..bloody hell.i didnt think tad u will climb over mua head.i had enuff of all your nonsense la..u push me one more time over my limits..im going to be nasty.don think i cant be nasty too..tell u the truth..i sometimes cant stand ur arrogant..al'mighty..pretend-to-be-NicE..you..u r sometimes so fake la..always act so high class..fine..u can be considered high class cos u r from a above average family..but u always appear so nice in front of pple(esp in front of GUYS)..den become a monster when they turn their backs..i saw dis side of you when we were close frens la..haix.duno wad to say la..maybe only a few times only la..but tads bad enuff..u probably think im talkin crap..and Deny everything..and go blah-blah-blah on and on..on wadever..and say tad im worse..den blah blah blah..i just don understand u..y must u be soo stubborn.cant u just stop pointin fingers at everyone and listeen to wad others got to say bout u..at least try to be nice and STOP makin use of other pple..oh..so sorry...i forgot u r already a NICE..
wadever..damn pissed off..where is the nice i used to knoe?!
i go back school visit..u lyk don gib a shit la..busy talkin to guys or playin wid guys..i sit there so long..nvr even bother to come and chat wid me..i duno la..i think our frenship goin to end here la..i hab enuff..i ask u go out..always cannot..meet u..nvr bother bout me..talk to you..u always busy wid sth else..tell u the truth..im also quuite fake los..
i lie to you before..when i told you i don like him anymore..haix..wadever..im sorry shane..i know u may be readin this..fine..im a bloody bitch too la..well..at least im single now..i wont be hurtin anyone..anymore..until im attached again..i think im jinx mans..best is to stay single..i cant take anymore heart breakin anymore..

2005-04-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

tired..haix..got caught in the big big rain today..
so i think im lyk sick now..so so tired..i wish my prince charming will appear in front of me now and hug me to sleep.....

2005-04-03T00:46:00.000+08:00

hahas..today so stupid..go work..so early for the first time juz to make my lau da there happy..but mei xiang dao..nvr bring locker key..bloody hell..den make them pek chek instead..lolx..den durin break...went cine..den walk walk around wid moi darlin min..ate pastamania..den i damn budget la..cos broke liao wad..i ate bread only..saw jasmine..tok awhile..
den after that went downstairs to see wads the buzz about..den saw fiona xie..sharon aw and guy..so cool..fiona xie so pretty..everything bout her lyk so perfect sia.i wish i can be lyk her..btw..her figure damn gd sia..*jealous* lolx..after tad we went outside cine to hab our butts picture taken..lolx..so funni..got some stupid free goodie bag which the most valuable thing is a cup..we walked down to hereen buy sweet..den i kept dreamin of my prince charmin la..hopin and hoping he would dropp down from the sky..hiax..dreaming again~~~

2005-04-02T00:15:00.000+08:00

忘了有多久
再没听到你
对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久
我开始慌了
是不是我又做错了什么

你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了

我(愿/要/会)变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

一起写我们的结局

haix..i now feel very pek chek...stupid lester..screw him wid a screw driver la..poke it up his ass...asshole...humpf..don wan2 talk to him liao..he pian ren de..bluff mi..humpf..

anyways..when for aduition today for some raintree production rubbish..hahas..go there play play for fun oso song..so many chio bu..lolx..btw..i pierce my nose today..bloody hell..so pain when she poke la..KNN..i almost wan2 whack her away la..so pain...luckily i tahan..she change my stud to small small one so tmr go work wont kana..go home parents wont notice so fast..so i wont get Killed..bleed so much when she changed..haix..wad am i?? i lyk not gd..not bad..juz do all those stupid stupid things for fun..i think i bonkers man..

my prince charming...where are youuu?? i waitin to create a fairytale wid u..together..plz appear..so we can hab a happy endin together..

2005-03-28T21:46:00.000+08:00

could anyone get for mi this pretty doll??

2005-03-28T19:16:00.000+08:00

i feel so happy..
yesterday went kbox wid mua sis..
sing until wan2 die wan2 die..lolx..
den after tad went town wid my sis and my mum..
shop shop shop..hahas.feel very happy cos i very long never go out wid them le..
since duno how long ago..aniwaes..we took neoprints..look so pretty..hahas..all da 3 ladies..lolx..okok..fine.i a bit bhb..i not pretty los..

today went bugis bought a mini demin skirt for 10 bucks only..so cheap..looks quite ok too..wad a bargain.hahas..den my mum took mi for eye brow shapin..sooo painfuull siaaa..i almost cried la..but i think i look lyk a FREAk now..oh my gosh...

2005-03-26T00:19:00.000+08:00

from today onwards..i startin afresh..
yeaH..feel tad energy gushin through me..
im not tad same girl u know anymore..
im goin to be much stronger now..
much tougher..
so dont u dare come and mess wid me anymore.
i had enuff of all your nonsense..

wad u waitin..
wad u waitin..
wad u waitin for?!

muahahahas..
be gone now..cos i will now
forgive..forget..forever...

if u wan me..
come catch me.
bleahzz.. >.<

tick tock..tick tock..tick tock..lolx..

2005-03-25T01:45:00.000+08:00

so fan...fan si ren le..fan si ren le..wad am i doin mans?!
wake up..i lyk in coma liddat..
help...did someone just shoot mi in the brain?
ok..nvm..i will forget everything.
i wan2 start everything afresh..
sowie for being so selfish..
sowie..
i cant take it animore..
head hurts lyk fire burnin..

1 week 3 days..

days passin by ever so slowly..
yet im still here waitin..
waitin for wad seems like eternity,
waitin for a miracle.
but none came by.

juz the endless cold breeze
blowin through my hair,
sending chills down my back.

oh how i wished it was summer now.
warm warm summer..
keeping me kickin and alive.
but it never came.

all i saw was a blur
a pinhole view of bright colors,
flashiing pass my eyes.
blinded and dejected..

i stood in one corner,
tad dark corner..
willing myself to die.
so i wont feel animore pain.

but somehow i felt guilt and selfishness instead..
but it doesnt matter,
it doesnt matter animore..
it really doesnt matter animore..
cos i cant go back to who i used to be now..

i am juz me..
stupid ol'me..
wastin my life away..
waitin for sth tad doesnt exist..
or wad i think doesntt exist..

it was juz a dream...
a dream of u n me.
a beautiful one though.
garbage band king..
i will never lose u..
yet i will forget u forever..

forgive..forget..forever..
byes..

so meaningful..
thanks paulz..
even though i don knoe u..

2005-03-24T00:47:00.000+08:00

haix..fan si ren..fan si ren le..why everytime i got problem one..i think im the worst girlfren in the whole wide world..so guys..better becareful..better not come near me..i will only bring u all misery..haix..i think i become lesbian...girls will oso run away..why liddat..why got problems and doubts also nvr sit down and settle wid me?!why? am i realli tad scary...tad unreasonable..tad hard to talk to?!! juz tell me straight in the face wad u got to say..like i wasnt hurt before liddat..i can take it..juz tell me..if this goes on..we will have nth to say...nth to say to each other..if u got things..juz tell mi la..am i still ur gf?? if i am..juz share it wid me..if u think im hidin sth from u..juz ask.."ask and u shall be given"..i'll try my best to give u everything i can give..

btw..1 week 2 days le..

2005-03-21T00:21:00.000+08:00

wad the hell..im so dead la..i still don wan to slp..now lyk so late le..and i didnt really slp yesterday..woohoooooo.....yesterday was freakin fun sia..went clubbin at cheeky monkeys..den went wu ha (i think tads the name of the club..cos i too drunk to see)..hahas..me n sinclair siao liao..i feel a bit weird la..cos i used to dancin techno..den yesterday suddenly change to RnB..i not used to it..lolx..not bad..i broke record..me n sinclair share 2 bottles of tiger beer..den went i go work..the pple there gib mi 2 cups of hot sake..den after work i bought Booz to drink..den at the club i drink 3 more bottles of trequila..lolx..i tak boleh tahan..almost slept in the toilet..lolx..yes..i fell down inside the toilet too..big joke..ah jo supposed to join us..but couldnt get in..the stupid bouncer..box him den he knoe ar..hahas..ok ba..i think i say until here enuff le..cos the things happenin after tad so blurr..tsk tsk..too drunk as i said..all i remember is tad dis mornin i kana from my HQ...sian..but nvm..at least i had fun.. ;) u know wad i mean..Fun..*cheeky grin* ;))

btw..today is day 7..which means..its one week already........

wo men de ai.....
guo le jiu bu zai hui lai..
zi dao xian wo hai zai mo mo de den dai..

wo men de ai....
wo ming bai...yi jing cheng le ni de fu dan..
zi shi yong yuan wo dou fang bu kai...
jui hou de wen ruan..

nice song...but....................lalalalaaa..........

2005-03-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

today was gr8..i lot of my frens visited my workplace..so fun..hahas..thanks u peeps for droppin by..lub ya lots..lololx..wah.i tell u juz noe at the restuarant got an ang moh keep disturbin me la..cos i serve him hot sake(jap alcohol).. den he keep talkin to me whenever i serve the sake..in the end he ended up drinkin 8 bottles of sake la..lolx..den he asked me wad time end work..den ask me go party together..if not he can oso send mi home..crazy rite..somemore the gf beside him la..hm..day 3 of forgettin da huai dan goin so smoothly..i only come online den think of him..cos huai dan online..hahas..looks lyk things r juz gettin better n better by the day..;)

2005-03-16T22:35:00.000+08:00

wah..today damn song ar..lolx..went sentosa wid eunice to tann..i think i got burnt la..lolx..met this grp of joker guys..they all funny funny weird weird one..haha..den i tell them i got stead le..so they all go disturb eunice..lolx..yupps..the 2 words "got stead" really so scary but useful sia..hahas..they gundo goondo one..i go bluff them i am eunice and eunice is me..they believe..they even think i younger than her la..so dumb..btw..today realli play until quite happy..although my hand hurts from playin vball..haha..today day 2 of gettin over da huai dan..so song..wo kan kai le..i even can tok to huai dan in a light mood la..yay...cheers.. :))

2005-03-16T00:38:00.000+08:00

day 1 of gettin over da huai dan..haha..can make it..i got smile a lot..except i very tired la..feel like sleepin when i serve customers..lolx..den my seniors complain tad the sleepy look on my face makin them sleepy too..haha..oops..cant help it..but at least just now break got sleep a bit so my night shift not so jia lat..hehez..cant wait for tmr..i goin to sentosa wid my darling eunice..so happy..cos now im like damn fair..so got chance to tann must faster faster grab..but the only problem is now i so fat..tmr wear bikini sure very eeyerr one..so fat..haha..okok..gtg at least tone my tummy now..if not tmr sure bulge until very horrigible one.. :P

2005-03-15T00:53:00.000+08:00

humpf..da huai dan hurt my feelings so much..but i don think da huai dan knoes ba..haix..don wan than don wan los..im leepeng..im supposed to be the strong girl tad my frens see me as..haix..fine..okok..wo hui zhen zhou de..yupps..jia you..haha..must let tad pink pink color resume on my face again..if not not pretty le if i sad sad everyday..i will forget da huai dan..cos da huai dan wad..so huai dan...remember for wad?! yay..okok..smile smile..tads the way..must have faith and confidence in myself..

2005-03-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

da huai dan..wo wei ni shuai le yi jiao..wo hao tong hao tong..sob sobx..haix..nowadays mood not very good..so i keep eatin and eatin..so i grow fatter and fatter...haix..yesterday was our 2 years 2 months..haix..no mood to blog anymore..byes..

2005-03-13T01:31:00.000+08:00

my garbage band king is a da huai dan..da huai dan..DA HUAI DAN!!!..humpf...sob sobx..stupid da huai dan..hurt my feelings..make me cry only..i tot u were different la..haix..

2005-03-11T01:05:00.000+08:00

haha..juz got back from work not long ago..i think my hp bill got jiu le..juz in case u don know..i now workin as a waitress in a jap restuarant at paragon called the new yamagen..feel free to visit me hors..lolx..sian..stand almost the whole day..now leg pain..>.< no choice..i now hopin can faster get my pay so i can clear my debts..haix..recently duno why i feel so sad..someone like neglectin me..i feel so lonely..why he liddat..play wid me..now dont wan me le issit?! haix..don wan think le la..bye bye..

2005-03-07T17:34:00.000+08:00

sigh..i think im goin to be stuck at home for a very long time..im lyk so broke cos i overused my hp and now i need to cough up 350++ bucks to pay for my bills..this is like pits..damn it..everyday at home will die one lei..so bored..now i hopin i can find a job soon so i can earn more money to spend..and make up for the money i spend on my hp bills..oh man..350++ bucks for my hp..still cant believe it..die la..must stop usin my hp so much le..if dis goes on ar..i need to declare bankruptcy sia..

2005-03-06T21:56:00.000+08:00

bored bored bored...eeyore so cute..lolx..*hint hint~* i wan to keep a collection of eeyores too.. (:

2005-03-03T15:46:00.000+08:00

Eeyore.. (:

2005-03-01T17:59:00.000+08:00

i wan to thank god for givin me such gr8 blessings..i improved a lot since my prelims..well..i got 40 for prelims..hahas..cant believe it...i finally can put down a very very heavy load since i got back my o levels results today...didnt do tad bad..except i got f9 for my a maths...tad is lyk expected la..hahas..NEE ANN POLY!!..here i come..business studies...is the course i hope i can get in...my gosh..i was so happy tad i cried today la..lolx..i duno wad to say now..btw..for those who didnt do tad well or think tad their results r not up to their expectations..don gib up hope...god has plans for u..;)

2005-02-27T17:38:00.000+08:00

hahas..today so fun..early morning went clementi k-box..wid tryphena n shumin..lolx..was singin our butts out..okie..maybe not tad jia lat..but sing until we chest pain..lolx..haha..very funny sia..we cannot find the girls toilet in k-box..in the end got a grp of malay guys have to tell us where it is..so pai seh la..they even ask their female supervisor to go check us out..den the supervisor even asked them wad color shirt me n tryphena wearin..so funni..lolx...den after tad we went to the arcade to play..play until my hand pain sia..me n tryphena played the rock fever3 machine practically the whole day..hahas..den after tad i played a bit of para para...den went to play hamster..so cute..hamster hamster hamster...cute cute cute..nvm you knoe...after playin wid hamster i pei tryphena go eat..after eat finish still not enuff lei...we still went to arcade to play more bishi-bashi..den rock fever3 machine..and me a bit of para para again..hahas...damn song sia..play until like siao..hahahs...kkz..end here le..wo yao jian jian dan dan di ai...hahas..wo hui deng ni ba wo de xing na zhou.. (:

2005-02-26T16:15:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness...for those who duno yet..we are gettin back our results on monday..3 pm..so nerve wreckin....i scared la..lolx..wonder how well did i fare..

2005-02-23T16:19:00.000+08:00

Lonely in love
You can feel cut off from the world
When you commit yourself to your partner and your relationship, your life changes and as far as social contact goes, that shift is often for the worse.

Perhaps being a couple means you've cut yourself off from friends or family. Spending time with your partner seemed so important that everyone else in your life took a back seat.

You can feel emotionally cut off
It's particularly dangerous because within any relationship, there's a natural move towards separation. This sounds strange as surely love brings you together?

But actually, once you commit yourselves, you spend more time apart. The first excitement's died and other things, like work and children, are more demanding. Even when you are together, you may not feel happy. Almost every couple hits problems when they start to build a committed relationship. You're different people, with different needs and it's a challenging tightrope to stay happy and fulfilled.

And, because you've always expected fulfilment, you may feel like a hopeless failure. At least when you are single, you can look forward to the companionship of love. When you're in a relationship and you're lonely, you ask yourself 'is this it?'

2005-02-22T13:57:00.000+08:00

i duno wad say..leave me alone..
i wan to be alone..
i cant seem to smile..
let me go..
argh..
cant take it anymore..
alone.alone.alone.
if i told u this was killing me, will you stop?

i slashed myself..forcing myself into darkness..why cant i be ~~happy~~ lyk others..

2005-02-20T17:27:00.000+08:00

i think this is gettin crazy..i slept at 9 30 in da morning..and woke up at four..i feel as though im wasting my life away..i meanin sleepin my life away..haix..btw..i made chicken wrapped pasta in tomatoe sauce..i screwed up the the part where i need to make freah pasta..wah..first time makin from flour n eggs..so difficult..still instant one better and more convenient..hahas..okie..gettin a bit pissed wid my blog..cos the pictures keep havin broken links..and i wonder why..could anyone tell mi why?!! cos if i refresh...some appear some disappear again..so stupidd....humpf..

2005-02-20T03:44:00.000+08:00

hahas..nows 4 am in da morning..i cant sleep..i think im turnin into a night animal that comes out huntin at night..terrible..and my moms is goin crazy every night askin me to slp..well i cant help it if i cant slp..wad u wan me to do? eat sleepin pills? i think prozac suits me better since im lyk gettin weirder and weirder by e day..madder and madder by e hour..losin my sanity by e minutes..fearin tad i would probably be goin yar-ya by e time e next morning comes..okie..wad to do..i duno..maybe stay in reality by watchin tv..chattin online and on da phone..well..tad isnt a bad idea..comes to think of it..i find it weird..someone actually said i had a nice fanny..which i nvr heard before in my entire lifetime...well..mabe becos i used to be a runner..